What does a person feel when he learns that he was a pawn in the game of a Neurotic Love with his fears?
Helplessness, rage, disappointment … I feel cheated. Sometimes she clings to the illusion of love, but in her heart she feels that love is not only about meeting the needs of her neurotic partner, YourChristianDate more and more often giving up everything she has cared about.
The Neurotic Personality Described Very Extensively
By Karen Horney is an extremely sophisticated compilation of fear and hostility to the world masked by the readiness of his admiration. All this is closed in a person, a person who seeks, desires and needs love, and when he wins it, tries to keep it at all costs. His efforts are dictated by the fear of loss.
For the neurotic, it is not so much the need to love and be loved that is important, but the need for security and constancy, which, unfortunately, he cannot give his partner / partner. Often times, neurotic people send out diametrically opposed signals. Sometimes they accept something with calm and acceptance, and other times an identical situation is met with denial or aggression. An attempt to explain and rationalize that these were similar situations is doomed to failure. In every manifestation of care, kindness and naturally flowing warm feelings on the part of the partner, the neurotic looks for a conspiracy, insincerity, deception. He can accept what he gets only when he asks for it himself and only when he asks for something. The delay in the reaction is treated like a slap. The call is answered only the third time, answering a text message after an hour,
The Neurotic is Fighting
A Battle within himself, which was start to a large extent by. The lack of disinterested love in the family home. In homes where love has to be “earn” by the appropriate Neurotic Love behavior most often require by parents, children feel. That they are not worthy of value in themselves. Self-esteem in neurotics is drastically low, although on the outside. They can seem confident, enterprising, well-organize people and coping with it. The neurotic is actually doing well most of the time. Because he has been given a “recipe for life”, but any unplann change is a cause of great anxiety for him. The ability to adequately. YourChristianDate Respond to an event that has occurred is negligible. Each change of plans in the relationship.
That The Neurotic Cares About is a Source of Fear – Neurotic Love
That is difficult to overcome. The consequence is hostility and aggression towards the environment. Also, as a result of his fear, a person who is in. A relationship with a neurotic has a constant feeling of guilt. He often tries to do everything on his own. So as not to unnecessarily bother the neurotic. She removes all the obstacles from under his feet and becomes extremely. Anticipatory and preventive in order not to give. The neurotic another reason to start a quarrel. It is as if over time she gave herself. The energy to live and the ability to self-determine and be happy. All efforts are direct towards easing.
The situation with the neurotic partner. She believes she can help him. so as not to unnecessarily bother the neurotic. She removes all the obstacles from under his feet and becomes. Extremely anticipatory and preventive in order not to give the neurotic another reason to start a quarrel. It is as if over time she gave herself the energy to live and the ability to self-determine and be happy.
All efforts are direct towards easing the situation with the neurotic partner. She believes she can help him. so as not to unnecessarily bother the neurotic. She removes all the obstacles from under his feet and becomes extremely anticipatory and preventive in order not to give the neurotic another reason to start a quarrel. It is as if over time she gave herself the energy to live and the ability to self-determine and be happy. All efforts are directed towards easing the situation with the neurotic partner. She believes she can help him.
Characteristic Behaviors for Neurotics, – Neurotic Love
In addition to those described above, are unpredictable changes in mood. Repelling rational arguments by persuading one’s interpretations and bad intentions. Eemotional blackmail, arousing guilt, possessiveness, cutting off the person he “loves” from family and friends, slandering.
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The environment while seeking attention other people. Referring to justice, threats, making excessive demands, excessive, frequently changing expectations. Towards a partner that will never be satisfied because they are constantly increasing. Extreme self-esteem, paying attention to details. Lack of a holistic view of the conflict in the relationship, a trace of empathy. The neurotic defends the appearances that he maintains about himself in his environment. Because for him they are a point of reference to what he would like to identify with.
Outwardly, neurotic people are call The “ideal party”, an exemplary candidate. A candidate for a companion in life, and behind the door of their later home they allow. Their fear to dominate. Thus they try to dominate others, hurting the more the more they are hurt.