For many of us, the ultimate feeling, the one that makes us happy and wholesome, is love. We watch endless stories of the everlasting, all-conquering love in movies. And hear lovers vow that they will remain faithful to each other till the end of time, but real life is much less romantic. The notion of selfless, unconditional love, blissful as it may sound, seems unattainable in the real world. Is it because human relationships have become so complicated? Or is it simply because it cannot exist?
The so-called “unconditional” type of love is an idealized form of emotion, which is presented as deep and ever-lasting. The couple involved does not need to share their thoughts and needs with each other, as they magically already know what their partner needs and automatically do it to keep him/her happy. Thus, this kind of relationship seems like a well-oiled, auto-run machine, and the couple effortlessly lives happily ever after. But, really? Can relationships be that easy?
Suppose, for the sake of argument, that only one of the two people involved in this relationship feels this type of selfless love. He understands his partner’s needs and wants, and does everything to keep her satisfied. He never argues or asks something for himself, thus suppressing and neglecting his own needs. Do you still think that relationship is ideal? I didn’t think so!
Love is a selfish feeling by nature.
It is meant to fulfill a wide range of psychological, emotional, and practical needs, which can only happen through communication and mutual respect. If you want to have a balanced relationship you need to let your partner know what your wants and expectations are of him, and, at the same time, respect and acknowledge his own expectations from you. And while entering a relationship for such selfish reasons may seem unromantic or even repelling to you, you will eventually find out that admitting what you truly want from a relationship from the beginning is the best way to build a long-lasting relationship.
Another important thing to remember is that you need to constantly remind your partner how you feel about him, not only with words but also with actions. Don’t take it for granted that he already knows it. Humans always have the need to feel desired, even when they know for a fact that their partner loves them. An occasional surprise, some affectionate words or simply doing things together can boost up a relationship and keep it going.
As poets have often put it, love is a battlefield. It is a struggle between reason and emotion, and above all, conflicting needs and interests. But love alone is not enough for a solid and fulfilling relationship from Flirtwith.com to be built on. No matter what fairy tales or movies imply, it won’t last long unless you invest time and effort in it.